The Stacking of Eggs and Boredom
by Zarichka
Summary: What does one do when left with a bowl of eggs and a sleeping person? Well this is defiantly one approach… My strange Easter Gift to all . Ooc and stuff. Hand-made in the USA. Crafted from 15% Boredom, 9% Eggs, 0% polyester, 1% Cotton, 13% Iceland, 17% Hong Kong, 5% Packing Peanuts, and 40% Fluffly dreams. Use with caution and little to zero heat/flames, tumble(r) or air dry.


Hello. It's 11:55 at night and I have just written the biggest WTF story I've ever written. Enjoy this strange little easter gift~

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Kaoru let his eyes linger upon his boyfriend who happened to be a sleep face down on Kaoru's living room's kotatsu. His curly white hair sprawled out around his head which was face down into the thing. Upon the little furniture's surface is a small wooden basket full of colored Easter eggs. Ever since he'd lived with Arthur, Kaoru had gotten into painting eggs on Easter. Since it was semi cold out and all the wondrous outdoor things were closed (*cough* the mall *cough*), ever since he'd gotten up, poor Kaoru was rather bored. So why not make up his own form of amusement? Of course, why not add even more fun to increase the entertainment status? He decided to play the spy game. Quietly, he summersaulted along the floor without making any sound to the get closer to his top coordinates, stealthily grasping up one of his little painted eggs, rolled over to a shelf that had a vase full of flowers, and placed two fingers up to his ear as if it were a microphone headset.

"Sargent Vase do you read me? I've retrieved parcel number #319. I'm going to take it to the Virgin Volcano stat." He said quietly. He lowered his voice to play the voice of Sargent Vase.

"Sargent Vase: Alright, Soldier K, watch out. There are monsters out there."

"Will do. If I don't come back, tell my husband I love him. And since I don't have a husband, find someone on the street, call him/her my husband, and him/her that I love them."

"Sargent Vase: I will. If the person I find on the streets is a girl, should I call them your wife instead?"

"…No." Kaoru rolled his eyes at himself for actually playing pretend as a seventeen year old. Oh well, haters can go on and hate. Meanwhile, he'll be calling females husbands in the meantime.

The extremely immature teen stood up and back flipped all the way over to where Emil was suffocating himself into a Japanese version of a bable (bedxtable) with light steps making barely any sound at all. He was much too flexible for his own good sometimes. He parted Emil's hair slightly before nesting the little blue-colored egg into his hair on the top of his head. He waited a moment and analyzed to see if he would wake up. He didn't. Using his hand as a notepad and pretending to hold a pen, he scribbled out a few imaginary notes.

_Egg One: There seems to be no movement or noticeability at all_. _Check point A- Complete._

After doing so, he cartwheeled back to the basket to grab a few more. He glanced around the room and spotted a chair in the corner. Using his totally badass imaginary headphones, he signaled out to his surrounding allies.

"Come in, it's me, Soldier K. I've planted one bomb in the Virgin Volcano on the northern most side. I'm getting ready to plant two more."

"Mr. Chair: Good, hurry, we don't have-a much time-a left." He spoke using a voice with an Italian-like accent for the chair.

"Understood."

He slid across the wooden floor keeping the eggs intact without cracking the shells. To make enough room on his lover's head, he placed one egg on top of the first and the third one on top of the second. Somehow they managed to stay without toppling. It's a miracle. Minutes went by as Kaoru role played the game by himself and sooner or later had about seven eggs all stacked upon Emil's head.

"Mr. Chair, Sargent Vase, Dr. Cumquat, Alexander the Packing Peanut, I've finished my mission. All seven bombs have been placed in Virgin Volcano. I'll be heading out to start the countdown soon enough."

"Alexander the Packing Peanut: Alright, report your findings when you get back." Kaoru spoke in a high pitch voice to act out Alexander the Packing Peanut's voice.

"Where did everyone else go?"

"Alexander the Packing Peanut: Mr. Chair went to go get dinner and the other two went out to go gambling."

"Curse them and their Cantonese need to gamble. They can't just leave, there are rules that they need to follow as commanders."

"Alexander the Packing Peanut: Screw the rules, they wanted to get laid."

"Well shit."

"Alexander the Packing Peanut: Just fricken hurry up."

Kaoru glanced at his wrist, pretending to read a watch and started counting downward.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Emil yawned and lifted his head quickly. As he moved the seven egg stack fell as fast as a seven egg stack could possibly fall. All but one splattered on the ground in a rainbow of colorful eggshells. The last one had splattered into his hair leaving the yellow yolk in his white fluffy hair. After all the eggs had broken, the poor Icelander had frozen in his place and one of his eyes was twitching weirdly. Kaoru smiled. His timing was actually correct!

"Alexander the Packing Peanut: Mission accomplished!" Emil turned and gave his stupid boyfriend a death glare.

"Oh yeah… um… sorry 'bout that… uh… Good Morning~!"

"I hate you. So much."

"Love you too."

Easter is fun.

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Yes. Be confused. Happy EASTER~!

Disclaimer: Got nothing besides a pile of nonsense.


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